The League of Extraordinary Badasses : Origins

As some of you may have realized, if they paid any attention to my articles and pages instead of only looking at the silly pictures (And do not even try to deny. I know you. Yes, yes), the Zombie Hunters in Finland are part of a broader club of gentlemen, which purpose lies somewhere between saving the world and enjoying ridiculously exotic hobbies. This club is the League of Extraordinary Badasses. You know some of the most important members of this club already, but it is time you discover the shadowy history of this organization.

Yes, you are worthy knowing the Truth.

No, no. No need for thanks, keep your gratitude. You may not be as pleased when you discover the unholy story of these unspeakable tales. In fact, you might fall into the deepest of madness and sorrow. If you're not ready for this, click away, you fool.

Apparently the Club keeps gathering in memory of Jean Chastel.

The first official mention of the club is Jean Chastel's invitation card for the Annual Celebration of the League in 1789, as the villagers of La Besseyre-Saint-Mary went to burn down his house and cover it with salt after his death (or during, things aren't really clear, you know, the country being on the brink of its bloody, gory, and full-of-human-rights Revolution). The brave people of the town found the card in its house while looting preparing the purification of the unholy ground of this Beast killer. It is said that this card was kept as a book-mark in the Priest's Bible until the Priest lost his head on the guillotine, and that a peasant took the bible from his blood-spotted robe to stabilize a newly acquired wardrobe (lots of people acquired lots of new stuff in these days). It's Quite unclear when the wardrobe was moved and the bible opened but the card was then found and used again as a book-mark for a cooking-book that was discovered, covered in grease, in a flea-market in 1908, by an anonymous buyer who ended up using the card as a book-mark for his very creatively illustrated version of Apollinaire's Les Onze Mille Verges. It was already greasy after all.

And this is where a historian found it in 1982, looking through his family-stuff in the attic in desperate search of grand-pa's war-time uniform, the one with the funny cross. (Unfortunately, the uniform had already been burned two days after the Liberation due a dire need to light up the oven for the American's welcome feast)

Why did I tell you this whole story ? Well, to make you understand one thing : Without that unexpected game of fate, nobody would ever have had a written trace of the Club before we agreed to blog about it. We were so secret, nobody ever knew we were around, saving the world, kicking asses. To bring us to light, it took an angry mob, a bible, and a french pornographic novel.

Secrecy was the key for centuries, as different religious dogma and political leaders were quite keen on blaming us when things went wrong, or even if they thought they had seen the worst already (usually they didn't, maybe we should have let them... just for fun). In fact, we were so secret, that we aren't even sure when exactly it all started, by whom, where...... how...... why.......

(People did not write many reports back then. It only came with one of our worst and unfortunately undefeated enemy : Bureaucracy)

What we know for sure is that many Clubs part of the League trace back to Ancient Times, pre-christian antiquity,  even possibly Prehistory according to some cave paintings, such as this one :

Fortunately, there are still people claiming it's a fake. Our secret is safe.

In different times, in different places, courageous people have stood against Evil in all its forms and created, without knowing it, future chapters of the League. And I will now proceed in revealing the history of these unsung heroes....